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Put all the ingredients in a large mixing bowl and, using your hands, mix well. Once it has been mixed well and looks like a firm dough, punch and whip it viciously and pick it up with both hands and slam it back into the mixing bowl repeatedly (if it helps, imagine your boss, ex-girlfriend, mother-in-law, that bully at school – whatever it takes) until it turns into a gooey, gluey paste. It may take anywhere between 5 or 15 minutes depending on the level of brute force exerted on the meat clump