I don’t know if you noticed this but there was an air of Ealing Studios at the start of last night’s episode. All three judges were sat in a dusty room, complete with blackboard and bakelite and the jolly hockey sticks went way off the chart.
First Prue kicks things off with a shrill “We’ve gort the Welsh in the kitchen today!” Then Oliver chimes in and starts harping on about Phil Carmichael, who used to work for Jason Atherton don’t you know and would have been “Bloomin’ well practising all night.” And finally Matt Fort finishes with the most Cholmondley-esque “That Adam has got a formidable reputation in Wales, so I think this is going to be a ding dong battle!”
I mean what the blaady hell is going on here? Anyone would have thought that Optomen wanted to sell the show orf to BBC America or something. Oh they do? Oh well, carry on then. Nothing to see here.
Small, acute observations aside, it was of course the week of the dragon on Great British Menu and to be honest, the boyos had a bit of an uppy downy time with it all. Experimental chef Stephen Gomes was the one to fall on his sword on Thursday, as his final effort at pud just didn’t quite make the grade. “Your ‘Thank you in box’ looked beautiful,” said Tom Kerridge. “But the textures were like eating soap.” Oh dear.
The final judging heat was billed as a clash of youth vs experience then, with Phil Carmichael calmly padding about the kitchen with the grace of a swan. Whilst Adam Bannister tore around the place, swearing his head off at various kitchen implements. He does like a fight that chef.
Joining the judges this week was Rosemary Bishton. WI member for 40 years, a former home economics teacher and fan of brightly coloured blouses. She reminded me of my Mum actually. Sweet, kind and always blinding me with her sartorial choices.
Phil hit the nail on the head with the first round by saying “We’ve got four different palates to please here”. So, reminding us of the difficult task at hand, he decided to improve upon his starter ‘The Allotment’ by adding some toast. Because everyone loves toast don’t they. You might not like edible soil, gribiche might not tickle your fancy and pickled micro veg could be a tang too far. BUT EVERYONE LOVES TOAST!
Oliver didn’t love the toast. Bugger. But it went down well with everyone else. So, phew.